Author Archives: Jenni

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Bus Stop Fashion . . . It’s About Time!

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Image c/o freefoto.com

Finally, some news I can use!  I have been waiting and waiting for a news segment about…..well, you guessed it!  Bus Stop Fashion.  When I work from home, a lot of the time I have the Today Show on for a while.  Then, I eventually move into the office so I can really crank out the work.  However, I will admit that today I lounged a bit more than usual and before I knew it, it was time for the Hoda & Kathy Lee hour – my lucky day!  Guess what was on today???  This awesome segment:  Mom Chic for the Bus Stop.  WOO HOO!!

Now, this is what I usually wear to the bus stop.  I do want to point out that this isn’t me, but that this Biatch stole my outfit.  You can imagine the embarrassment of showing up at the bus stop in the same outfit as the mom down the street!  I have to say that this outfit is pretty comfy and easy to put on in the morning to get the kids off to school.  But, my mind was open to consider other options.  I mean, I was tired of looking like everyone else – Thank You, Hoda & Kathy Lee!

Pic c/o People of Walmart

Okay, seriously folks, there are definitely A LOT of ridiculous segments on that show.  I get that.  But, come on!  This one really pushed me over the edge!

Yoko, the first model, is wearing a $150 outfit and is carrying a $95 bag.  Why in the world would I buy a $95 tote and a $150 outfit to wear to the bus stop? If I’m getting dressed in that outfit, I’m going out on the town, not wearing it to make sure that the kids are safely aboard Bus #00!

If this segment had been about Fall fashion, then it would have been tolerable, but bus stop fashion?  I just don’t understand it.  The ecomony is struggling, people are out of work, and now women should be made to feel that wearing sweats to walk the kids to the bus stop is not okay?  Oh brother!!

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That’s How You Get a Raise and a Promotion? Hmm..

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One of my BFF’s (can I use this terminology as a middle-aged women?) forwarded me a link to one of the funniest articles/posts that I’ve read in a long time!  The author of this post really nailed it.

It’s a critique of an “article” that is trying to help women get ahead in their careers.  After you read it (link below), I know all of you will be enlightened.  I personally can’t believe that I missed out on this important 8-Step Regimen when I was trying to climb the corporate ladder.  Dang it!  All of those missed opportunities now down the drain.

“Want a raise? Wash your v*g*na.”   (don’t let the title scare you off – read it!).  This article was posted on www.dailykos.com by dhonig on 8-26-2010. 

In the spirit of this article, I have provided you with a skit from Saturday Night Live (this always cracks me up!):  saturday-night-live-espn-classic-ladies-darts. 

I hope it made you giggle a bit.

Have a great Labor Day Weekend!

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Tuesday’s Random Thoughts

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With school in session, it’s too hard to post every night so I’ve decided to post weekly instead of trying to post daily.  As soon as it becomes a Have-To instead of a Get-To, then the fun has been sucked out of it.  I’m enjoying my Blog and don’t want the fun sucked out! 

My random thoughts over the past week have been on running and religion – kind of strange, I know.

Running

Maybe some of you are interested in how I am doing on my 8-week running training program.  Well, I finished Week One this weekend (run for 30 min total, but alternate 1 min of running with 2 min of walking along with 3 min of walking warm-up and cool down for a total of 36 minutes). I was supposed to do this every other day alternating with 30 minutes of just walking.  Not too bad, right?  Well, I don’t feel that I did well enough to graduate to Week Two (similar to above except it’s 2 min of running with 1 min of walking) so I’m repeating Week One this week.

The one thing that I’ve noticed is that my knees are beginning to feel it a bit 😦 .  I have found some stretches that are supposed to prevent knee pain and I will be adding those to my routine.  I hate to think that my running goal is already in jeopardy after a week and a half!!  Man, I’m old and out of shape!

Religion

Um, this seems like a heady topic to take on and I’ve never meant for this blog to be controversial in any way, but I must bring this up because I can’t stop thinking about it due to the Gay Marriage and Ground Zero controversies in the news.  I usually avoid the topic of religion because it evokes strong emotions, is very personal and no one budges an inch (it seems) after a discussion. 

Growing up we were mostly Easter & Christmas Christians and thus, religion was not prominent in our household.  At some point in my parents’ lives after my sister and I left the fold, their faith has deepened and is very important to them.  I’ve seen how their faith has comforted them through the trials of life and I can respect the peace it gives them.  However, I have to say that much to my parents’ dismay, I’m still a raging agnostic.  I’ve always been a somewhat of an empiricist and skeptic and of course, the existence of God can neither be proven or disproven, so therein lies the conundrum for me. 

Going to church does make me feel like a fraud once a week, but it’s one of those things I do for my kids.  What I mean by that is in making the decision to attend church, my husband and I had committed to go “all in” and not be the C & E Christians.  We both think that it’s good to expose them to religion and let them ultimately make their own choices.  I’ve been completely honest with all three of my children about where I stand on the topic and with the fact that they will have to come to their own conclusions about faith and religion.  Like I said earlier, it’s a personal choice so I (or anyone else) can’t make that decision for them.

I was having a discussion with someone over the weekend and religion popped up as one of the topics.

Statement made by companion:  “The Qur’an is an inherently mean-spirited, hateful book”.

I asked this person if he/she had ever read it and the answer was “no”.  So, how can that comment even be made?  That’s how hate speech and rumors are spread (on any topic).  I couldn’t offer an informed rebuttal because I haven’t read the text either.  I’m sure some state out of ignorance that the Bible is an angry book after hearing Old Testament stories (it seems God was a bit angry in the Old Testament – do it my way or I’m going to drown everyone on the planet (except Noah)!).  The point I made is that any religious text (Bible, Qur’an, etc.) can be perverted by the zealous and turned into something hateful and angry.  Our World’s History is rife with unspeakable actions done in the name of religion (pick any religion).

So in an effort to be more informed, I have ordered my very own copy of the Qur’an from Amazon.com – it’s 1300 pages long!  It’s annotated and provides historical references, so maybe I will actually learn something.  It will definitely not be an easy read.

Statement made by companion:  “God has a special place in his heart for the Jewish people”.

This was in response to one of my hang-ups about Christianity.  I had asked my companion, “Do you really think that my Jewish BFF is going to Hell?  Because I can’t accept that.”  Okay, so God really likes the Jewish people, but not enough to let them into Heaven.  Hmmmm…  Since Abraham is the father of many religions – Christianity, Islam and Judaism – doesn’t that mean that God in all three of the religions is the same entity?  If so, are there separate Heavens for each one?  You know, Separate but Equal, like segregation?  Does God give a knowing wink at the Christians as he tells the others that he likes them best?   This may sound irreverent, but that is one of the many, many issues I have. 

 Statement by me:  “If you believe in Heaven, you have to believe in Hell.  The Yin and Yang of life so-to-speak.  Do you believe in Satan?”

My companion answered in the affirmative.  I personally don’t think that there is an evil entity walking around whispering in people’s ears to commit evil acts.  I think that people are capable of evil acts and it’s by choice.  So, now I have to consider the fact that if I don’t believe in Hell, can I still believe in Heaven?  Hmm….I guess I won’t really find out real deal until I leave this earth.

I have other dilemmas/questions about religion in general and Christianity specifically, but it would make this post TOO long.  Sorry for the randomness of this post, but these were the things swirling around in my brain this past week.

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The Not-So-Secret Life of the Suburban Housewife

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Hey, people!  Yep, it’s me.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been able to post anything on my blog!  School started and “Boom!”, my life is no longer my own.  I’m a slave to no man, but children are another story!!  Whoever said the line that you get to do what you want when you grow up was a LIAR!  My kids somehow think that’s true (as I guess most kids do).  I’m tempted to share the secret of the Big Lie with them, but then I think, “Let them find out on their own!”

 

 

School time is the time my double life emerges:  Insurance Consultant by Day and Taxi Driver by Afternoon/Night. (You can also throw Chef in there somewhere!).  School has started and, thus, Fall Sports and After School Activities. 

I get home from work in time to get my youngest off of the bus, change my clothes, wait for the girls to get home and then I put the Taxi-in-Service sign on the family truckster.  Now, we’re ready to take off – Soccer practice, piano lessons, elementary to retrieve forgotten homework, library, etc.  I literally drive around for 2 hours dropping off and picking up various little people and NEVER leave my city!  It’s no wonder my ass is getting wider – I’m in a recliner all day.  So, in order to prevent me from showing up on the People of Walmart web site,  I’ve decided to take up a new hobby that requires me to actually move – I’m taking up jogging.

I know, I know – why?  Well, a couple of things:  (1) my schedule does not allow me to visit a gym or take a class on a regular basis; (2) doing tapes at home is nice, but it’s not effective when the kids are yelling, “mommy, mommy!” while I’m hopping around, breathing irregularly, and sweating profusely; and (3) I needed to find something that I could pick up do anywhere without fuss or a lot of equipment.  Running seems to fit the bill – we’ll see.  I mean I do have 45-year-old knees.  Maybe they won’t like running :).

Still having my birthday money (because I don’t have time to shop for myself), I did a lot of research and bought myself some really nice running shoes and no-blister socks!!  I also found an 8-week training program – by the end of the 8 weeks, I should be able to run for 30 minutes straight.  This particular web site said not to worry about the miles, but the time.  Sounds good to me! 

Today was Day 2 and so far so good – no pulled muscles, twisted ankles or weird aches.  I consider that a good sign.  If I can maintain progress without serious injury, I should be able to run 30 minutes continuously by the end of the week of October 11th. 

Hopefully, this will be something that I enjoy doing and can keep doing.  If I’m going to continue my not-so-secret double life (I don’t see it ending any time soon), I would like to do it without my booty becoming two axe handles wide (an old saying by my dad).

Wish me luck!

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Two for the Price of One – “Awesome!”

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I was going to write a post on something else today, BUT yesterday I received my unsolicited ValPak envelope that arrives in my mailbox every so often.  I have to say that I usually keep one coupon out of the 30-40 or so coupons – it’s for a Chinese restaurant that we frequent about once a month.  When searching for my Chinese restaurant coupon, I stumbled across this beauty –

 

I’m not even sure what to say.  I mean if I get a boob job, does that mean that I only have to pay for one of the girls?  Or if I pay for both of the girls, can I get my butt lifted for free? 

I think this little coupon can be viewed as a commentary on our society.  It’s taken something risky and serious like surgery (of any kind) and turned it into something like a Domino’s pizza weekend special! 

Who would this coupon appeal to?  Someone on the fence about plastic surgery just waiting for right deal to come along? 

“Wow, I was really undecided about body altering surgery, but since you’re giving it away for practically nothing, I think I’ll do it!”

Do reputable plastic surgeons offer coupons?  Hmmm…

What about other surgeries? 

 “I need my gallbladder removed, but I think I’ll wait for the best coupon deal to arrive in my ValPak envelope!  Maybe they’ll  have two-fer – gallbladder and appendix!  Oh, wait!  Here’s my ValPak envelope.  Look, Honey, it’s my lucky day – a two-fer on useless organs!  I’m giving them a call right now!”

 

The plastic surgery center of the coupon shown above is offering a special on the Brazilian Butt Lift (using your own natural fat – I have plenty of that!).  Why Brazilian?  Are they known to have the best looking booties around?

 Hmmm…. maybe I do need a butt lift.

 

 

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A Tribute to the State Fair

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One of our MANY family traditions is the annual trek to our State Fair.  We know a lot people who avoid the State Fair,  but our family is weird and we love it!  It’s a fusion of awesome “bad-for-you” food and compelling people-watching.

This is a pictorial of how we ate our way through the State Fair – our motto is “Eat ’til you Puke!”  We usually have a list of must-eats and then add anything else we can fit in.  However, this year, we did not get in two of our mainstays – corn on the cob and lemon shake-ups.  I think this happened because we added too many new things – what were we thinking?

Okay, here we go:

Cheesy Beef on a Stick (2 shared), Sno-Cone (1 for each kid), Kettle Corn ( 1 shared), Gyro (Jen), Jumbo Smoked Turkey Leg (Jack), Stuffed Baked Potato (Rachel), Corn Dog (1 each for Mike & Maddie), Deep Fried Cookie Dough (1 ordered shared), Elephant Ear (1 shared), Chocolate Milkshake (1 for each), Deep Fried Veggies (1 order shared), Cotton Candy (1 bag shared).  All of this was over a span of time from 2:30 pm until 8:00pm.

The Elephant Ear and Stuffed Potato are not actual pictures of our State Fair food – my son almost single-handedly scarfed down the elephant ear and it was gone before I could take the picture (the rest of us had to do defensive eating on the Ear)!  And, the stuffed potato?  I was too busy eating my Gyro and forgot to take the picture!

Now, people-watching at the Fair is awesome and I wish I could have taken pictures of some of the patrons of the Fair.  It just would have been too intrusive and awkward, so you will just have to picture the People of Walmart – VERY similar imagery.  I have to say that my stint at the State Fair has inspired me to get off of my fat ass and do some exercise.  My next self-improvement project is jogging – that is a subject of another post.

We love all of the sights at the Fair – the animal barns, Our Land Pavilion, Horticulture Building, Home and Family Arts Building, etc.

In the Our Land Pavilion, they have the Cockroach Roach Races (see the picture of the “fans” – they are cockroaches, too), Cheese Sculpture, and the Sand/Clay Sculpture.  Our Fair is celebrating the “Year of the Pig”, so everything is themed around the Pig.

In the Horticulture Building, they show all of the award-winning vegetables like the State’s largest pumpkin (see pic below), you can buy honey ice cream, you can sign up to be a member of the Gourd Society (woohoo!), and this year it’s also the site of CANstruction.   CANstruction is a fundraiser for local food banks.  Businesses team up and create sculptures out of canned food cans which are  then donated to a local food bank.  It’s pretty cool.  My husband’s firm participated this year and below is their project (remember the theme is Year of the Pig).

 

In the Home & Family Arts building, they have pies, cakes, cookies, cake decorating, sewing, quilting, painting, etc.  See the painting below?  This is the painting of a classmate of mine from my oil painting classes – this is her second painting EVER and she won 2nd place.  Please see the painting next to it – its MY second painting ever.  Maybe I need to take up another hobby!

 

 

 As we do every year, we enjoyed our day at the State Fair 2010!  A lot of giggling, eating, oohing, aahing, and sore feet!

 

Here are some other various pictures from our trip to the State Fair.  Enjoy!

 

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Back To School

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Back to School!!!  Wednesday was 8th grade registration, yesterday was 11th grade registration and fortunately, there is no “registration” for elementary, but I did have to go pick up his supplies that I ordered at the end of the year last year.  This is the week I always dread because I literally just hand my checkbook over to the School System and tell them to take whatever they need.  You know, I didn’t really need to go to the grocery store this week anyway! 

Cost for three kids to get the year off to a good start:

Book Rental:  $500

 

Gym Uniform: $12  (fortunately I only have one that needs a gym uniform this year)

 

Yearbooks: $82 (can you see my HS pic?  Yikes!).

 

Spiritwear:  $30

 

School Supplies: $145

 

 

School Photos & ID cards:  $165

All Sports Passes: $35

PTO Fees:  $30

 

Whew!  I’m exhausted and broke ($1,000!!!).  This doesn’t even include any new school clothes (which I don’t purchase until mid-October any way).  Why does back to school have to be so expensive?  I don’t know how the families with parents that may have lost a job over the last year or with wage-challenged jobs can afford to send their kids to school!  The costs above don’t include lunch money or the inevitable cash disbursements throughout the year for presentation/project supplies, sewing class supplies, PTO fundraisers, field trips, etc.   Has it always been this crazy?  Since I didn’t pay for my school supplies growing up, I really can’t say.  But, I don’t remember having to supply tissues, baggies, baby wipes, etc. for the classroom.

Oh, well, I guess it’s still cheaper than the college expenses we will be incurring in a couple of years, right? 

 Here’s to another successful school year!

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I’m Not a Silly Man in a Fur Coat!

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Our family was watching some vintage Scooby Doo, when a very interesting cartoon short played to take up the remaining time until the next main show was to start.  The cartoon was “The Bear That Wasn’t”.  It’s about 10 minutes long, but it is worth it.

What  a great little cartoon.  It simply touched on so many things.  The cartoon, made in 1967 by Chuck Jones,  was based on a book written in 1946.  I copied the Plot and Themes from the Wikipedia page because they summarize the cartoon so nicely – I couldn’t have done it justice.  It’s startling how the Themes of this cartoon are still applicable to today, isn’t it? 

Per Wikipedia:

PLOT 

A bear settles down for his long winter nap, and while he sleeps the progress of man continues. He wakes up to find himself in the middle of an industrial complex. He then gets mistaken by the foreman for a worker and is told to work. To this he responds, “But I’m not a man, I’m a bear”. He is then taken to each of his successive bosses, who try to convince him that he is just a “silly man who needs a shave and wears a fur coat”, reaching all the way up to an elderly president of the factory who concludes he cannot be a bear because “all bears live in the zoo”. The bear is taken to the zoo, hoping to gain support from his own species, but even the zoo bears claim he is not a bear, because if he was “he’d be behind bars like us”. Eventually he concludes that he must be a “silly man”, and works hard at the factory to the satisfaction of the foreman and the other bosses. However, winter comes again, and he feels cold. He wishes he knew what a “silly man” would do to get warm. But in the end he finds a cave and enters, feeling comfortable and bear-like once more. As the bear is sleeping, he reflects on the events of the year, as the narrator concludes that because all the bosses and even the zoo bears disbelieved he was a bear, did not make it so. “The truth is he was not a silly man…and he was not a silly bear, either”.

THEMES

Though appearing as a children’s book, this story takes a critical and satirical look at aspects of society. It revolves around the concept of people believing a repeated idea even though it may not be true. People have a tendency to shift their views if a concept is hammered into them over and over again, like the bear being told he is a “silly man who needs a shave and wears a fur coat”. The bear eventually succumbs to this mistaken assumption, believing he is a man even though he had previously known otherwise, just as humans shift their views on a topic because of repetitive information, or because ‘they all say it is true, therefore it must be’. Yet, in the end, the bear, who is cold in winter, reverts back to what he really is – a bear – and finds shelter in a cave. This idea covers the concept of people never changing due to outside influence. Though a person may change for someone else, when placed in a difficult position, they revert back to old habits – just like the bear hibernating. Whether something’s fact or fiction, it is what it is and doesn’t change – no matter how many people believe otherwise.

The book also presents a visual satire of corporate culture. Each time the bear appears before a higher-ranking man in the corporation, the offices get progressively more elaborate (for example, progressively more phones, more wastebaskets, more secretaries, all according to rank). There is also progressively more chins and less hair on each higher ranking person as the Bear ascends all the way to the president’s office.

When I was watching it  and saw the old, bent, crooked finger of the President pointing at the bear and telling him he was a silly man, I just chuckled.  Has anything really changed since 1946?  It doesn’t seem so.  

Per Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.   Hmmm….. the world (governmental, corporate, etc.) must be insane, huh?

 

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Engledows Unplugged?

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pic c/o http://www.actoutmystery.com

Someone sent me this joke via email the other day and it struck a chord with me:

 Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, “I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.  If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”  

They got up, unplugged  my laptop and threw out my wine.    

They are SO on my shit list…..  

Okay, here I am at my computer, but I’m drinking diet cherry coke tonight!  And, they haven’t unplugged me 🙂  

Recently, I’ve seen more and more tweets and blogs about people unplugging a bit, especially from Facebook.  I can understand that.  Since I have FB, Twitter and both home and work email on my iPhone, it does make it way too easy to check and see what people are up to.  I am very connected and maybe overly so.  My dad even told my middle one that he thinks I’m on my cell phone all of the time!  

This post got me thinking about technology – Reflections on Happiness.  The author of this post was talking about limiting TV Time and Computer Time in her life.  I’ve been mulling it over since I’ve read the post.  It’s definitely not a bad idea.  She also briefly touched on some of the cons of Facebook.  How many “friends” do you really want to (or can you) keep up with?  It’s weird, I’m connected with more people than ever, yet I don’t really feel personally connected.  Do you know what I mean?   

I wonder about my high schooler.  She has maybe close to 300 hundred “friends” – what about when she goes to college, then her job?  We’re talking exponential growth here!  How can she possibly keep up? What is the definition of a friend?  I think it can vary depending on whether you are a teenager or a middle-aged housewife.  For my daughter,  if she had science class with someone, then he/she is a friend even if this person is not within her circle of influence or in any of her other classes.  Huh?  That seems to be a stretch for me.

Maybe our whole family needs to unplug a bit.  It will be easier once school starts.  No one has time to do anything, but homework, sports and carpooling.

Of course, since I’m the grown-up, I guess I’ll have to start first to, you know, set the good example!  I will try to stay off of my phone unless absolutely necessary, limit my TV time, maybe start exercising again, finish my 3rd painting, and read more books. 

Okay, that’s my plan and I’m not afraid to use it!

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What the Heck, American Idol?!

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DeGeneres Leaving ‘Idol,’ Says It Was Bad Fit 

by The Associated Press

What??? Really?? I just saw this tweet from NPR announcing that Ellen Degeneres is not returning to American Idol.  I know that she wasn’t overly critical and maybe was too much of a cheerleader, but I felt like she spoke for us as the average viewer and I think she was (is) funny!  Our whole family did.  I also felt like she was an improvement over the goofy Paula.

Simon’s gone and now Ellen.   And, I just heard on the Today Show that Kara may be out too.  That would leave just Randy.  I did hear that Bret Michaels (of Poison), Justin Timberlake, and even Jennifer Lopez were all being considered as replacements.  That seems like a lot for one show. 

When the show first aired, I did not watch it.  My family did. All of them, but me.  I was too freakin’ busy with work at my crazy-ass 60-hr a week job.  “I’m making money, people!  I don’t have time for family fun!”

When I entered the slower lane, I joined the ritual known as American Idol.  I was hooked after Season 5 which was my initiation.  Now, I look forward to it every January! 

With this announcement, I’m torn.  Will it be the same?  Who will the new judge or judges be (do we really need 4 judges?)?  My oldest said that she won’t watch it now that Simon and Ellen are gone.  It was the one show that the entire family could watch together.  The girls now like to watch overly dramatic teenagery shows like “The Secret Life of the American Teenager” and “Pretty Little Liars”.  My 10-yr-old son cannot and does not want to watch these shows (the hubby and I don’t either).   American Idol was the only “family friendly” show appropriate for all ages in our household that everyone liked.  Bummer.

Maybe this will be a good time to start weaning ourselves off of this show.  It’s a commitment and very time-consuming – in the beginning it takes up two or three nights a week!  

It would leave me more time to develop my painting or maybe even a brand new hobby. . . . . .what would it be?