Who Wants to Get Married by Elvis?

Maddie: “Mommy, you know how you always say that you want us to elope and then come home for a party (reception)?”

Me (uh oh): “Uh, yeah.”

Maddie: “Well, somehow the topic of  weddings came up and I told Mrs. Friend’s Mom about what you said. She was really shocked and really kind of surprised that you would say anything like that. She just couldn’t believe it.”

[Oh, greeeaaaat. Mrs. Friend’s Mom, who is really a very nice person, now thinks I’m crazy, cruel and/or un-American. Sometimes I can relate to Christine in the New Adventures of Old Christine especially when she is trying to fit in with the moms in her kid’s school.]

Me: “Really? Hmmm… “You know I’m kidding when I say things like that, right?”

Maddie: “It doesn’t sound like you’re kidding.”

Am I kidding? Well, kind of. When did my kids actually start listening to me anyway?

Sometimes I forget Maddie is very black and white, very literal (the nuances of what is being said can get lost in translation). The other two usually roll their eyes and ignore what I say when it sounds silly or unreasonable. Not that girl.

And, Maddie also stores everything I say in her little “shit my mom says” brain vault for use against me later. She never regurgitates the “good” stuff for the masses (I have spouted some valuable words of wisdom, haven’t I?).

Back to the nuptials, don’t you think the craze of these uber-expensive weddings is insane? “That’s not real life, you know that, girls. Right?” ” Daddy and I didn’t have a wedding like that and we’re still happily married.”  Blah, blah…

Girls: Yes, Mommy dear.”

One summer, my hairdresser (God, how old am I? I meant to say, “salon technician“) was in 5 or 6 weddings and well on her way to 27 dresses. I kid you not! Well, two years later, over half of these marriages are over with a capital O and a capital VER. And, some of these weddings were over-the-top even by my Technician’s standards (not just mine). All I kept thinking was, “Those poor parents. If that were my daughter, I’d kill her!”

Yeah, I know. That’s not a very compassionate attitude toward my lovies so I won’t share that with my kiddos (just you guys). I don’t think they read my blog.

My methods may be unorthodox (jokingly encouraging elopement), but I’m trying to keep my kids grounded in the real world. Raising kids in our community along with the crazy media images makes the goal of raising grounded children difficult.

Speaking of weddings, I would like to report that the hubs and I will be celebrating two milestones this February:  the 30th anniversary of our first date and our 21st wedding anniversary! (Yeah, I know, 9 years of dating. It was a process, but I finally talked him into it). 🙂

Happy Anniversary, Baby!

I Now Pronounce You Husband & Wife……

I’m usually not a very sappy person, but I have to admit that I love weddings.  We attended our nephew’s wedding on Saturday and I could have bawled like a baby, but I held in most of it (so as not to embarrass my children or husband).  To me, weddings represent optimism, joy, expectation, happiness. . . . . It’s a nice reminder that there are good things happening in the world despite the BP oil spill, Afganistan, Iraq, tensions in Iran, tensions in Pakistan, the Gaza Blockade, etc.

The bride looked gorgeous and my nephew looked dashing – they were giddy, happy, overwhelmed by the moment….etc.  They did the brave thing and wrote their own vows – the vows were so sweet and heartfelt.  It was a beautiful wedding and the reception was a lot of fun (lots of good music)!

My hope for both of them is that they have indeed each found his/her soul mate and will be one of the 50% of couples that stick with it through the good times and bad.  Whoa, where did that come from!?  Sorry, that sounded a bit pessimistic, didn’t it? 

To explain . . . . at my last hair appointment, my hairdresser who is all of about 24-25 said something very shocking to me.  Three summers ago, she was a bridesmaid in about 5 weddings (think “27 Dresses”) and was a guest at a few more.  The shocking news?  Three years later over half of the couples are now divorced and one of her friends is getting re-married.  What?!

I know you’re thinking, “Whatever.  You’re so naive, woman!”  Hey, I do realize that divorce rates are high, but come on!  After two years, they’re ready to call it quits?!  They couldn’t wait until the 7 Year Itch?!  They probably haven’t even finished writing the “Thank You” notes yet! 

I really feel for the parents that dished out for these elaborate affairs (some of them sounded really insane!).  Not wanting to be one of these parents in the future (because, well, I do worry about it), I capitalized on this information as a learning moment for the offspring. 

“It doesn’t matter how amazing your wedding planner is (don’t get me started on this topic), where your reception is held, what your ‘colors’ are, or what your dress or cake looks like!  That’s not what makes a marriage!”  

But, these elements do make for a nice wedding album – ONLY if you hired the right photographer! 🙂  Okay, enough of the “Debbie-downer” routine.

Attending weddings always makes me think back on my own (over 19 years ago).  It was a blur, but I have happy, blurry memories of it!  Look at us full of optimism and hope for the future!

To the June wedding couples in my family

My sis & bro-in-law (14 years this June) – Congratulations!!



My parents will be celebrating their  50th Wedding Anniversary  this month!  Congratulations, Mom & Dad! 


Here’s to the future!  Congratulations, Craig & Laura!