Category Archives: Everyday Life

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Lessons in Death

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It’s been a while since we had a really bad day in the Engledow house. If you keep up on my posts, you will know that my middle daughter worked us over for months to get a parakeet (aka budgie). So, we eventually gave in and welcomed two new buddies into our house in December – Jahmal & Dexter (see pic to the left). Jahmal is the blue and white one and Dexter is the yellow and green one.

When I went on my “Mom’s Gone Wild” weekend in Florida last month, I received a text from Maddie telling me that Dexter had been diagnosed with terminal liver disease (his beak and claws were growing exponentially so we set an appointment with a specialty bird doc). The Vet gave Dexter a trim and gave my daughter some medicine that she was supposed to administer to Dexter once a day. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that the Vet gave Dexter a month to a year to live.  What?!?  So, my teenage daughter is supposed to traumatize Dexter (and also traumatize herself) once a day by grabbing him out of his cage only to stuff a dropper of medicine into his tiny little beak until he drops dead maybe a 30 days OR 365 days from now?

She came to us two days later and asked us the big question….“What would happen if I stopped giving Dexter his medicine?’  I wasn’t surprised or disappointed. It was a good and tough question.  My husband and I told her that we should all sleep on it then we would discuss it. She clearly was very disturbed every time she had to terrify and wrench Dexter from his cage. Was it fair to ask my daughter to do this every day?

We discussed it and determined that if she decided not to medicate Dexter, that it was okay. This treatment was not a cure. It only prolonged his life – wasn’t it better for the parakeet to be free of stress for the remainder of his days instead of being terrorized once a day for an interminable period of time? We thought so and so did Maddie.

This morning Maddie called my cell phone (not realizing that I decided to work from home today) hysterically sobbing. I hung up my phone and ran upstairs (really glad that I listened to my gut and decided to stay home) and poor Jahmal, the “healthy” one, was lying on the bottom of the cage, honking and wheezing. My Miss Maddie was beside herself. I told her to call the specialty Vet and I would hop in the shower. The Vet said to get there ASAP! I was about 10 minutes away from being ready when Maddie came in and said that she thought he was dead. I ran to her room and confirmed her suspicions.

If the bird at the bottom of the cage had been Dexter, she would have been able to handle it a little better. It was expected. Not Jahmal. He was the healthy one. It wasn’t his time. Sadness….

In calling the Vet to let them know not to expect us, I found out some interesting information. The person I spoke with said that due to the state that he was in (lying on the bottom of the cage, barely conscious and wheezing), it was very likely that there was nothing that they could have done for Dexter.  Huh? Why then would you act like there was something you could do and give my girl hope? Did they need my $80 that much? She could have handled the truth! Little irritated here.

She did have a brief lesson in death today. She experienced her first loss in a very unexpected way (Jahmal wasn’t supposed to go first!) and grieved all day.

Life is just that – unexpected (both good and bad).

A ceremonial burial in the backyard is planned (as soon as it stops raining).

Here’s to my girl and her bird….

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Something New

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Okay. I tried something new yesterday and it didn’t really work for me. I didn’t like it. What is it, you ask?  . . . . . . I strayed from my normal morning routine.  (-GASP-).

To back track a bit, on my trip to Florida with the girls, I confessed my rigid daily Mon-Fri routine. As I said it aloud, I realized how crazy I sounded. So. . . .

Yesterday: The middle one missed the bus, so I had to venture out (in sweats without a shower and, more importantly, coffee) into rush hour traffic to take the always-tired, sleep-til-the-last-minute teenager to school. Since my routine was already askew, I just went with it and deliberately didn’t do the following in my usual routine: my usual laundry rotation (move load from washer to dryer, put new load in washer), fold the newly dried load, clean up the breakfast remains, and unload and load the dishwasher.

What did I do?  I did make my bed (I can’t let that go), got my paying job work done, did eventually go swimming at 1:00pm and then took my shower (finally!).

Oh, I forgot to mention that I didn’t make the scrumptous dinner I had planned either – I just wasn’t into it (and, that is weird). Everyone had to fend for themselves.

I was going with it……

Then. . . . . I woke up this morning and the dishes were still there, the laundry was still there (and growing) and the downstairs was a mess. Now, I had multiple loads of laundry to fold, the huge mess in the kitchen to clean up (including new breakfast dishes) and the downstairs to straighten. What did straying from my rigid routine get me?  Bigger messes that took longer to clean up.

My experiment didn’t work. This winging it thing only works for me when I’m on vacation (yes, there is vacation-jenni and real-world-jenni). Real-world-jenni needs routines to keep her sane – that’s all there is to it.

I’m glad we finally got that straightened out!

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From Fearful to Fearless

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On my drive home from work today, I was thinking about the word fear. What am I most afraid of? Let’s see….

The Big Kahunas: 

  • Loss of financial security
  • Failure (all kinds – parenting, relationships, work, etc.)
  • Stagnation
  • Not being relevant

The Minor Things:

  • Spiders
  • Snakes
  • Jiggly foods (pudding, jello, creme brulee, oatmeal, etc)
  • Driving in Ft. Myers, FL (see my Florida Dreaming post)
  • Pine nuts
  • Hidden dangers (they are lurking everywhere, but where?)
  • Dentists
  • Public Speaking
  • this list could go on all day!

Of the Big Kahunas listed above, the fear that is foremost on my mind these days is stagnation. Not Changing. Not Moving.

Why stagnation? It’s taken a couple of days, but I finally came to the conclusion that the thought of waking up two (four, five, etc.) years from now doing the exact same routine that I’m doing now scares the shit out of me. Stagnation. It even sounds icky when you say it. That’s the ‘worry’ that is consuming my brain. It was a relief to finally figure out the crux of my melancholy that I’ve been feeling. What am I going to do about it? I’m not getting any younger!

Unfortunately for me, my fears of failure and financial ruin are not helping me in my quest to conquer my fear of stagnation. Egads, I’m in trouble.  On the scale from fearful (1) to fearless (10), I would say that my fear level is 4ish (not quite Monk) and I would like it to be a 7 or 8 (let’s be real, a 10 is just not in the cards!).  How do I get there? Is it even possible? 

I’ve been slowly working on this for the last four years. I finally started trying new things to help me get over my fear of not doing something perfectly the first time (this has always been a stumbling block for me).  I haven’t done anything mind-blowing like cage fighting or cliff diving, but here is a short recap:

  • Quit my full-time job without having anything else lined up (that was scary and very much unlike me)
  • Tried a kick boxing class and loved it! But, they eventually stopped offering it at my workout place :(.  I still have the pink gloves in the hopes that it will come back.
  • Took some oil painting classes last spring. This class was a small step in helping me get comfortable with not exuding perfection every time I try something new. My first, second, and third paintings are not that great and it’s okay. I can actually say this truthfully (that’s a big step for me).
  • Started a blog. Putting yourself out there is scary – I don’t do well with criticism. It’s been a great process for me and I’m getting more comfortable with being a little more “real” in my posts and accepting any comments that may come my way. However, in the spirit of full disclosure, the comments have been kind so my resolve has not really been tested.

These steps have been fine, but I feel like I’ve got to do something greater, bigger, different. I’ve had an idea swirling in my head since November, but it requires a lot of fearlessness. Where am I going to come up with all of this courage?

That is the million dollar question.

Leaders are visionaries with a poorly developed sense of fear and no concept of the odds against them.  They make the impossible happen.  – Dr. Robert Jarvik

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Bad, Mommy! Bad!

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I know that theoretically we have control over who can hurt us (I’m referring to verbal assaults, not physical ones), right? Isn’t there a quote to that speaks to that? Ah…..yes. Here it is:

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt

I really like that quote – I aspire to be that tough, but I find it very hard to control my reactions. I’m not strong that way. I admire those that have thick skin versus my papery thin epidermis. Most of the blame is rooted in my constant quest for perfectionism – the slightest bit of criticism can turn my insides into mush.  I try to act all tough on the outside and then I’m left with swirling thoughts about whatever the criticism was (direct or indirect).  I’ll do better next time. . . Wow, I should have known to do it that way. . . Your right, moms shouldn’t react that way…blah, blah….

Before we go any further, I want to emphatically state that I love all three of my children with everything I have and I would die for them (it sounds really sappy, but it’s the honest truth and must be stated for the record before we proceed).

Okay, today’s criticism that I “consented to” was bestowed upon me by the person that from this point forward will be known as the Self-Righteous One (SRO). SRO exists in one of the Jenni spheres of living. We (me, SRO, and one other inferior being) were discussing how I was “trapped” in the house last week (from Tuesday thru Thursday) with my kiddos – they had three and half days off from school due to Ice Storm 2011 (in hindsight, maybe trapped was a tad strong and I didn’t really feel trapped until the third day).

SRO:  Trapped?  Oh, you’re so funny!  I always LOVED staying at home with my kids when we had days like that….. blah, blah…..additional comments along this vein.

Me (consenting to criticism):  It was hard to get work done.  If I could have played games with them, it would have been easier to be home with them all day.

SRO:  Oh, I didn’t play games all day.  I always had other stuff to do.

Me (slinking away because I didn’t mean to imply that moms that stay home play games all day):  Oh, well, we survived (chuckle chuckle)!

Of course. the critique of my parenting was clear (and had witnesses) –  “What is wrong with you?” “Why don’t you enjoy being with your kids?”

Permission granted – my mind started racing, “What is wrong with me?  Why did I say trapped? Do I really feel trapped? What does that say about me? Am I not embracing motherhood like I should? Do my kids feel that I haven’t embraced motherhood? Do you have to completely give over your life to your kids to be the best mother possible?. 

Then, I started getting mad at myself for letting SRO make me crazy and then I started getting mad at SRO for being such a self-righteous @#$%!  I wish I my brain wouldn’t even register comments like that – like a robot.  I need Eleanor whispering in my ear “Nobody can make you feel like shit unless you let them!” (I’m paraphrasing now). 

Moms are the hardest on other moms – why is that? At one of our breakfasts, we were talking about this phenomenon because in the news we had the Tiger Mom and also a post on the Today Show’s Mom Blog by Mayim Bialik (Blossom) about “Attachment Parenting”.  I’m sure everyone has read an article or has seen an interview with the Tiger Mom since she has been out promoting her book.  Attachment parenting (this term is NOT endorsed by those that practice it – I just don’t know what else to call it) may not be familar to you. It wasn’t familiar to me and I learned something new by reading Mayim’s post.

One seems too hard and the other one seems too soft – two ends of the parenting spectrum. They have both hit a nerve (read the comments on Mayim’s post!).

Neither of these styles of parenting seems to fit my personality. So, I guess I will stick with my Control Freak, non-Attachment, Give me Peace (sometimes), Worry Wart style of parenting. So far so good, – no serial killers (however, it may be too early to tell), good grades had by all, polite kids (with some minor attitude flare-ups),  AND all three of them will still be seen in public with us! 

I just need to remember Eleanor 🙂

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Florida Dreaming

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I missed my Weekly Post in the WordPress Post-A-Week Challenge this week (it was due Monday) – Shoot!  But, I did have a good excuse – I was in Ft. Myers with My Gals for our “Moms Gone Wild” long weekend! What would I do without my gal pals?  I think I would be a hot mess without ’em. (One of my gal pals laughs when I use the word gal because she thinks I’m not old enough to use that word yet. Are you giggly yet, Ti? I’ve used it 4x already!). 

Woot! It was A LOT of fun. I love those trips – they really rejuvenate my spirit. That sounds really hokey, but I’m not sure how else to describe it. I feel like I can do anything when I get back.  And, then the reality of life hits (especially when you come home to Ice Storm 2011)! Ah. . .  vacations are for dreaming.

The picture in this post is actually of Naples – we went there for the day.  The beach is SOOOO pretty. Shopping around in Naples that evening made me feel young – even at 46, we seemed to be some of the youngest gals there. 

So, what did we do and what did we discuss while on our wild weekend? We did very little, ate wonderful food and talked A LOT!

Retirement:

Of course, being in Florida with all of the silver hair and silver cars got us talking about retirement. What are our plans? Would we be snowbirds? It seems 75% of the group is looking forward to being snowbirds. I told them that I didn’t think that would be in our future for a lot of reasons, but mainly because my husband LOVES Fall.  They don’t seem to have Fall in Florida. I’m also having a hard time picturing that time in my life at this point since it’s probably 20-25 years away. Let’s be honest, I’m having trouble picturing my life even 3 years from now.

It does seem that by retiring to Florida, you could be taking your life into your hands. The driving there was the worst driving that I’ve personally experienced anywhere.  While in their invisible silver cars, the snowbirds don’t stay in their lanes, they cross lanes without warning and they speed like crazy (and some of them may actually be asleep)! I may not have the proper constitution to be a snowbird.

Getting “Work” Done:

This is a topic that’s in the news All. Of. The. Time!  Why did it come up on vacation? Well, because we watched the Housewives of Beverly Hills during our stay – the topic is hard to avoid while watching this show. It seems that nothing on/in these women is natural any longer. I hate the pressure put on us (even regular housewives) to have procedures to keep us youthful looking. Would I commit to never getting anything done?  I’m not sure I can say that, but I’m really not planning on it. Surgeries of any kind scare me and I’m afraid of the slippery slope effect.

Other topics:

Kids:  Duh!  They make us crazy (which is why we briefly run away), but we still love ’em.  So, we confer with and console each other in order to provide reassurance that our kids aren’t the only ones that talk like they are possessed, have trouble following instructions, or act like they will never manage to care for themselves as they get older.

Husbands:  Similar to the kids topic above – they make us crazy, but we can’t live without them.  Mike doesn’t usually talk like he’s possessed or have trouble following directions (depends if he sees them as valid or not).  And, I’m hoping that he will be able to take care of himself as he gets older!

Movies:  We watched the worst movie all of us had ever seen – Sex in the City 2.  The series was so ground-breaking and entertaining.  The movie, not so much.  It would take too long to explain how bad this movie was. If you haven’t seen it and had it on your list as a ‘must see’, erase it and replace it with another movie. I’m saving you 2 hours and 26 minutes of your life that I can never get back.

I wish we had had one more day of fun in the sun, but our houses were falling apart without us (okay, maybe not falling apart, but you get the idea).  They needed us home!

Here’s to mini-escapes that keep us sane!

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My Love-Hate Relationship with Procrastination (maybe just hate)

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Procrastination. I hate this word.  Really. I know everyone does it. My kids are really good at it. I hate it when I do it.  

 I know my excuse – I’m a perfectionist (which is a serious illness). What is your excuse?

What are the items on the Procrastination List? Well, a lot of things. But, I did finally tackle the big one on my list – the family vacation we are taking this summer.  The hubby has always had this dream to take the fam damnly on a trek out West.  You know, Griswold-style.  However, Wally World is not our destination – the destination is our country’s National Parks!

Why did I procrastinate on this particular project? It’s an 11-day “get-a-way” that includes multiple stops, multiple routes and maps, sight-seeing decisions, etc. It was so daunting and overwhelming to me. And, I was not excited about changing hotels every other night – packing and unpacking, etc.  What finally got me started on this project was my husband telling me that he was freaking out about my lack of planning and interest in this huge opportunity for family fun.

Whoa, I didn’t want to be the fun-sucker on vacation (I do that enough on a day-to-day basis). Finally, I confessed that I was afraid of his expectations for this family trek – his parents used to go on these 3 week long driving pilgrimages staying in a new location every other night with extensive itineraries, etc. He assured me that he was not thinking along that vein. Relief!

It took an entire day, but we did it!  We have a budget, all of our accommodations booked, and some awesome activities planned.  Now that it’s done, I’m excited! Why did I fear this task so??

Here is our itinerary:

Day 1:  Hellish 12-hour day of driving to get to BFE, MN

Days 2-4:  Another long day of driving, but we reach our destination:  Rapid City, SD.  We will be staying here for 3 nights and visiting Mt. Rushmore, the Badlands National Park, Black Hills National Forest and possibly checking out the Corn Palace.  I’m especially stoked about seeing Mt. Rushmore!!!

Day 5:  Driving from Rapid City, SD to our next stop, Estes Park, CO.

Days 6-8:  Hanging out in Estes Park; visiting Rocky Mountain National Park. The place we are staying is on a river where my husband can try out his new fly fishing gear and looks fantastically relaxing.

Day 9:  Hellish 12-hour day of driving to Kansas City, MO.  Just a stop, not a destination.

Day 10:  Short 5 hour drive to St. Louis, MO.  We are taking our kids to the Gateway Arch – the “Gateway to the West”!

Day 11:  We are homeward bound.

It will be EPIC! However, we are not making any stops to pick up Aunt Edna so we won’t have to worry about toting a dead aunt on top of the mini van 🙂

Okay, here are the remaining items on my Procrastination List:

1.  My bio for my boss’s new web site.  What do I put down?  It’s not really that interesting.  Why am I in health insurance?  I’m not sure – it just happened.  I definitely did not plan this as a career – I was a math major!  I can’t put this one off much longer – it was due today.

2.  Various Doc visits – annual visit, colonoscopy (dad, I swear – I’ll call tomorrow), mammogram, daughter’s eye exam, my eye exam.  This is another day of just calling people – I don’t have time for that! Buuutt, these are important visits and I just need to do it.

3.  Call the Carpet Cleaners

4.  Start my running program again.  What the hell is wrong with me ?  I did so well (almost 30 minutes straight!) and then the flu.  Now, I’m starting over again, but not quite yet.  Just Do It!

Okay, first thing tomorrow morning, I’m going to cross items #1-4 off of the Procrastination List!  Or maybe next week…..

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New Year’s Resolution: Post a Week Challenge

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If you’ve read my prior post, you know that one of my 2011 resolutions is to be more consistent in posting and to write more. Rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m actually going to join the WordPress “Post a Week Challenge”.  I will be posting on this blog at least once a week for all of 2011.

They also have a “Post a Day Challenge” but I know my schedule and know that I would be setting myself up for failure.  Why the hell would I do that?!   Blogging should not add stress to my life.  It’s supposed to be fun!

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way!

Wish me luck!

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Oh, The Holidays Are Upon Us!

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It has been crazy in the Engledow house!  There has been a lot happening:  Jenni’s very first turkey, the arrival of Jahmal and Dexter (the parakeets), the hubby’s birthday and the preparation for the imminent arrival of Marshmallow (the rat).

The First Turkey

I hosted my very first Engledow Thanksgiving this year.  My mom-in-law, who is usually the hostess, had back surgery and just couldn’t do it this year.  There was a lot of whispering, “Who’s gonna host it?”.  There is a maximum of 21 family members so it’s no small feat.  However, I’m 45 years old and have NEVER made a turkey, so I took this as a sign that it was time.  I told my husband that I was ready so let’s do this thing!

Being somewhat smart, I made a practice turkey (12.5 lbs) on the Saturday before Thanksgiving for my dad’s birthday (Nov 22nd).  I’m so glad I made this decision because Thanksgiving day could have been a disaster.  What I learned from my practice Turkey:

There are TWO cavities in a turkey, NOT one.  I’ve heard the horror stories about people leaving the bag of goodies in the turkey and I did not want to be one THOSE.  So, I unlock the turkey from his plastic shackles and look in the “cavity” for the goody bag.  Um, okay, I see the neck, but where’s the other “stuff”?  I ask Rachel and Maddie to look in the bird – did I miss it?  Am I going blind?  The girls confirm that the cavity is empty.  I’m confused (maybe my bird did organ donation), but I move on to the wash and dry part of the process.  I’m holding this slippery 12.5 lb turkey in my kitchen sink so I can rinse the sucker.  This is harder than it looks!  As I’m rinsing, I find another “cavity”!  The bag of goodies is stuffed in the turkey’s rear end!  No one told me (and I didn’t read anywhere) that there were TWO hiding places for extra turkey parts.  Now, I completely understand how those parts get left in the turkey.  Can’t we put them in one spot and not turn it into a scavenger hunt?

Tie (truss) the bird BEFORE covering the bird in butter/oil.   Uh, yeah.  This was almost a disaster. I had to watch this food network video about a thousand times and still had trouble.  Watch it so you can imagine what I’m about to tell you – you can fast forward to about the middle where he is actually binding the bird.   Okay!  I made my butter spread (click here for recipe) for the outside of the turkey –  I’ve buttered the outside of the bird and stuffed the herbs and pears into the main cavity.  Now, I’m ready to truss my turkey!  Uh, now I begin to watch the video and realize that I have to tie (& flip) this uber-slippery 12.5 lb thing.  Has anyone seen this Thanksgiving episode of Everybody Loves Raymond?  This was ALMOST me –

Thankfully, I did not drop the bird, but my apron was covered with the butter.  I had to kind of hug the bird to flip it – I’m glad there wasn’t a video camera around!

Dry the bird REALLY well before applying butter spread.  Yeah, the butter wasn’t sticking very well and my hands were caked with the butter spread.  It was a mess, but some of the flavor was still there.  Thank goodness!

This practice bird actually turned out really well – nice and tender.  Yum!  For the actual day, I made two 13.5 lb turkeys for 17 people.  The night before, I successfully found all extra turkey parts, washed and THOROUGHLY dried my turkeys and stuffed the cavities.  I put them in the turkey oven bags and back in the fridge.  In the  morning, I pulled them out, put them in the roasters, made sure (again) that the skin was dry and THEN applied my butter spread.  Everything went smoothly and the turkeys were really well received.  I would call my very first Thanksgiving a success – Whew!

Animal Farm Update

  Jahmal and Dexter seem to be getting used to their new home and you can hear them chirping and squawking all the way downstairs – I actually don’t mind the noise.

  And, we have started the countdown until the arrival of Marshmallow.  7 days and counting………she arrives on December 14th.

 

The Hubby’s Birthday

 We had a great celebration on Sunday.  He got this Frank Lloyd Wright wall hanging that he has had on his list forever – this was his lucky year! 

     We also made him a terrific dinner –

     Crab Cakes a la Tyler Florence,

     Mushroom Soup a la Ina Garten,  and wedge salads. 

Maddie made her daddy homemade gingerbread men cookies and also a blondie brownies.  Everything was delicious!

 

Then, on Monday Morning, he went to work (as usual) and this is what he found: 

 

Isn’t this crazy?  His office manager (with some help from other staffers) did this to his office over the weekend.  He said that he got about half of it unwrapped yesterday.  EVERYTHING was wrapped, even the pens, pencils, sticky notes, etc. were individually wrapped!  Happy Birthday!

Now you’re up to date on the Engledows.  As this month moves forward, there will be more good stories to share…….

 

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It’s Raining Cats and Dogs (and Birds, Rats, etc.)

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“The difference between friends and pets is that friends we allow into our company, pets we allow into our solitude.”  ~Robert Brault,

“Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.”  ~George Eliot

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”  ~Ben Williams

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” ~Anatole France

 

Prior to 2005, I had three young children, a husband and a full-time+ job.  “Mom, can I have a [insert name of animal here] ? I promise I will take care of it.”  “NO.”    I played the part of the mean mom that wouldn’t let my children have pets and I played this part very well.  

Now, it’s the spring of 2005 (kids are 5, 8, & 11) and the kids and the hubby are starting to work me over for a dog.  I actually start considering it – what the hell is wrong with me?  Then, my husband makes a job change and due to a non-compete clause, he can’t work for 3 months.  Now, he’s starting to say things like, “This is the perfect time for us to get a dog.  I’ll be home and can get it trained, etc. Blah, blah…”  

(I do want to take a moment to point out that I am an animal lover.  Really. When I was young, I was always bringing home stray, unwanted animals (my parents are nodding their heads as they read this).  Really, it’s true.  So, what’s happened to me as an adult?  Adult, real life stuff I suppose.  At that time, we were rarely home – both of our jobs, the kids’ activities, etc.)

Back to the story:  so the hubby, sensing my inner turmoil, declares that we will get the kids a dog, damn it!  My requirements:  no more than 50 lbs and no shedding.  Ummm, okay that’s not too restrictive, right?  To make a long story short, Jasper was a sweet surprise for the kids and for about a week, we were The Best parents EVER!  As it turns out, he’s an 80 lb horse (a bit more than 50 lbs) with the sweetest personality and NO shedding.  Not a bad addition to the Engledow clan.

Apparently, Jasper was the chink in my armor and thus the sliding down the slippery slope had begun.  We added the fish last Christmas (Rachel’s wards) and the parakeets three days ago (Maddie’s wards).  Now, we just got the best news ever!

Jack (running into the house):  “Mommy, guess what?”

Me (with a little dread):   “What, honey?”

Jack:   “I’m getting a rat!  Only two kids wanted rats and no one else put their name in, so Mrs. Eberly made a decision today on who got the rats.”

Me:  (Oh, Shoot!)   “That’s great, buddy!  Which rat did you pick?”

Jack:   “Marshmallow.  Can I go get the cage for Marshmallow?”

We did not go rat cage shopping tonight because we are not getting Marshmallow until mid-December and I need time to absorb the news.  I also need time to reflect on what has happened to me and my resolve.  I’m turning into a namby-pamby.  Oh, help me…

Unknown's avatar

Exercise Your Right to ……Whatever

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As you may or may not know, I’ve started an exercise program. It was one of the things that I committed to on my 45th birthday. I really wanted to start taking better care of myself now so I don’t have a lot of ailments to blurt to total strangers when I’m older.

We have a really nice workout facility in our city that we joined a couple of years ago. My husband has been working out pretty regularly since we joined, but I really hadn’t until recently.

I’ve really adopted a “tude” recently. I am fed up with being a slave to my family’s schedule – that was my biggest excuse for not working out. Now, I’ve adopted a “screw’em” attitude! If we have to eat dinner at 7:00-7:30pm in order for me to get a half hour of exercise into my day, then so be it! If that means that my oldest who is now driving “gets” to take her brother and sister to piano lessons, then too bad for her! I don’t care if that means she is inconvenienced a bit.

Maybe this sounds harsh, but I feel like I have the right to be a little selfish so I can do something good for myself, right? I actually felt good enough to go out and buy myself my first pair of “skinny” jeans. You may be thinking, “Big whoop!” (Do people say that any more? It was big in the 80s). But it was a “big whoop” for me. I don’t think I’ve actually lost any weight, but it seems things are migrating back to where they originated. I consider that an accomplishment.

I try to get some kind of work out completed about 5 days a week – that seems to be all I can realistically accomplish (which is fine). I have been working out at our gym for these 5 days – I run 3x a week and swim 2x a week. So, that means exercising with others which also means some interesting people-watching opportunities are available.

This workout place has the usual array of exercise bikes, ellipticals, treadmills, weight machines, free weights and an indoor track. Below I’ve listed some interesting things I’ve seen over the last couple of months. I wish I could take pictures, but that would be wildly creepy.

60-70 year old men in Speedos. Really? Some nice regular swim trunks won’t do? Are you going for a speed record?

One interesting man (mid-40s) with black sheer hose on under some really tight black small shorts – see pic. I know this is a woman in the picture, but imagine these on a man with sheer black hose underneath the shorts. Then he had a regular t-shirt on (tucked into the shorts). I just couldn’t imagine a scenario where you would look in the mirror and say to yourself, “Yep, Perfect!”. Were the hose medically necessary? I do know that some people have to wear special knee-high type socks for circulation purposes. So if there were a full version of circulation hosiery available, then wouldn’t you wear sweats over those? I’m just sayin’.

Women, probably 70+, wearing their Sunday Best to walk around the track (I mean dangley earrings – the works). I don’t even have a Sunday Best outfit now, so I can’t imagine wearing this as my exercise garb (at any age).

Women (I’ve never seen a man doing this) talking on their cell phones while sauntering (barely walking) around the track. I don’t think that I’ve seen these women break a sweat. I thought exercise was for getting away from your daily grind for 30-45 minutes.

Young sweethearts holding hands while walking around the track – how nice! Since I’m getting older, anyone 22 or younger just look like babies to me, but I would guess an age range of 17-22 yrs old for the lovebirds. As I was thinking, “How sweet!”, I noticed that he had those huge ear gauges in his ear lobes, his running shorts were sagging (if he hadn’t had undies on, I would have seen his butt crack) and a lovely saying tattooed on the back of both calves (like a bumper sticker). Instead of saying something like ” I brake for skateboarders”, it said, “STAY F*CKED” in capital block letters. It was hard NOT to see it. How nice, right? What does that even mean? It’s so clever that all of the various people on the track that were fortunate enough to see it were left scratching their heads. Of course, I started thinking that by the time he snapped out of his rebellious stage and retired at age 70 from his 9-5 daily grind, that he would be hit on the golf course. There with his golf shirt, khaki shorts and awesome saying on his legs (if it’s even legible at that point in his life). Also, his ear lobes would surely be large enough now that he could use them as beer caddies. How convenient!

An impressive 70ish woman using the 4 ft railing as a ballet barre – she put her leg right up on that railing and put her nose to her knee for a good stretch! Holy cow! She did all kinds of amazing stretches using the railing so I was expecting to get my doors blown off running around the track with her (which would have been pretty deflating). She takes off and boom! No running, just a nice leisurely saunter. I have to say that I was a little disappointed after watching the huge warm-up.

These are the highlights of just some of my workout sessions. My dress code? Baggy shirt, shorts – that’s it. I’m not comfortable wearing skin-tight workout gear to run in. I don’t think people are quite ready for that.

These interesting sights do entice me to go back and see what’s on the people-watching menu for that day!