Losing Your Identity (i mean, your phone)

It is Day Three of phone watch.  Let me explain, my poor husband has misplaced his phone.  On Sunday, he came to the realization that his phone was really missing.  Sometimes it is only “kind of” missing – that means that he usually finds it right away in his briefcase, gym bag or Jack’s baseball bag.

Searching for his phone has become a family mission which was in full force up until today – we’re exhausted.  However, we do know that the phone has to be near our house, in our house, or in one of the other vehicles.  How do we know this?  Mike has bluetooth in his car and when he pulls away from the house, the car no longer acknowledges the phone.  As soon as he pulls in the driveway – Shazam! – the phone is available.  He can even call from the car!

All of you are thinking to yourselves, “Why don’t those idiots call the freakin’ phone?”.  Well, we aren’t complete imbeciles! Of course, we did that! If that had been the solution, I wouldn’t be writing about it.  This common method of phone-finding is not effective because Mike almost always has his phone set on vibrate (“Why?” IDK!!).

We have started looking in places that the phone shouldn’t be – the dog food bin, front yard, refrigerator, freezer, pantry, under the bathroom sink, under the beds, laundry bins, recycling bin, etc.  I still have NOT done the dumpster-dive – I’m assuming Mike will cover that if he deems it necessary.  My husband has a history of putting his belongings in unusual places – however this strange behavior hasn’t happened in a long, long while! 

Here are a just a few examples:

Mike came home from work, got a snack from the fridge and then we needed to run somewhere.  Where were the car keys?  He just HAD them!!  An hour or two later, we found them in the fridge!

One morning, I had just arrived at the office (on time, as usual!) and I get a call (this was before cell phones) from my husband.  He can’t find his keys – he thinks he threw them under the driver’s seat of MY car.  Huh?  I check under the driver’s seat – yep, there are the keys.  I had to drive home to hand deliver his keys so he could get to work.  Now, I’m late for work.

He has driven around downtown with his uber-nice camera sitting on top of his car – thank goodness for the luggage rack! 

Okay, you get the idea!  The absent-minded professor syndrome runs in the family on his father’s side – he comes by it honestly.  But I thought this was mostly behind us (esp when it came to the keys and phone!).   I have to ask myself, “But, why the relapse?”  Well, he did just get out of the car with Rachel driving (she is working toward her license in June) – that was the last confirmed phone-sighting.  Maybe that did it.  Whatever the reason – the phone is still missing and he may just have to come to terms with the fact that he will have to buy a new phone.

All of this hubbub has me thinking – “What if I lost my smartphone?”  I think the family would find me sitting  in the corner rocking while sucking my thumb.  Too dramatic?  But, who would I pick up, when and where?   What if someone needed to get a hold of me in case of emergency?  What if I received that all important email?  How would I update my Facebook status & Twitter status on the run (doesn’t everyone want to know what I’m doing every minute?)?

This event has driven me to look deep within.  Okay, I’m just going to say it, “My name is Jenni and I am a PDA-aholic.”  Do they have a 12-step program for this?  Someone help me!


BTW, as I was typing this post, Rachel did something amazing!  SHE FOUND THE PHONE!  She revisited the coat closet (she said she couldn’t sleep until Daddy found his phone – I’m telling you, it was maddening knowing we were near it and couldn’t find it!).  Mike said that he checked all of his coat pockets, but Rachel said that he really just opened up the coat closet, called his phone and listened for the buzzing noise.  What!?  I’ve been pulling couches apart, lying on the floor of my van, feeling up trash bags, walking the front yard, etc!  Men!

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